Happy Holidays....Merry Christmas!

Greetings!
It has become winter here in Bethesda! Its quite cold some days on my trek to the Metro, so I've given in and purchased a very warm hat for those days.
We are having a pretty good Christmas, in spite of the difficult health problems my family is facing. Joey will be here tonight and I'm so excited and happy to see him. Amanda is talking to us frequently and looking forward to her holidays.
I'm thankful for all the wonderful things and happenings we have had.
Work is looking more positive these days as well.
I've got to lose some weight, my health is beginning to suffer. I have a new physician and she is concerned about my blood pressure. Its been high for some time, probably about 5 years. I had regained the weight and lost perspective on some things about that time.
I have to have my mammogram followed up - may be a problem there. So, we'll see how that goes. I actually have a consult with a surgeon, which seem unreal to me. I'm sure nothing is wrong, don't even know why I'm following up with this.

Book I'm reading: The Year of Magical Thinking
Want to read: The Interruption of Everything
Would like to see at the movies: Brokeback Mountain and Good Luck and Good Night.

I look forward to warmer days to follow.

Things I think I might like to do: Get a nice haircut, possibly highlights.
Have time to read for relaxation.
Guess I had better make time.

Thanksgiving in the East & missing California

I can't believe its nearly Thanksgiving! This is our first Thanksgiving here in Bethesda. Just last Thanksgiving we were in Lake Tahoe, south shore, at our favorite B&B....
In a lot of ways it seems like a lifetime ago.

We are heading to C-burg after work today. Amanda is already there and we'll be there late tonight, if the snow doesn't decend upon us like a blanket. Its about 43 here today, pretty windy. Dad is in the nursing home, Stan is heading to a rehab place in M-town. Mom is holding her own in Sun Valley, I guess she is trying to not disturb anything, since everything else has gone rapidly downhill since last year. She is doing pretty well, considering.

Stan is the real tragedy, but that is so overwhelming for us all that I just can't believe it. Stan is only 58, and has recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. He has been increasingly unstable, and last week he fell. He was badly hurt, and has broken his femur I think. Orthopedic surgery has been completed, now he must learn to cope with awful pain and learn to walk again - in spite of his increasing disability with the Parkinson's. Its not good.

Well, his problems are many. I'm basically helpless here. I plan to get to see him over the holiday, along with Dad at The Heritage. His problems are also large, but he is dealing with them. He is much stronger at 88 than the rest of us wusses are. He knows, at 88, he has less years ahead of him than behind him. ... ... ... ... ... not easy to grasp that either.

So we have a year of change, a year of growth. I think its safe to say, we'll all be happy to see 2005 go away. Perhaps 2006 will add something really good to our lives.

I'm practicing being grateful. I mean, you'd be surprised how ungrateful we are for all the good things we have. or maybe you wouldn't be...

anyway, I truly am grateful and trying to be more thankful every single day.
More later,
gotta work.

Zeus - God of Cats Everywhere

Its been a really fun summer for Zeus, our Main Coon Cat. His fur has grown out of control, so we've had to seek out a groomer in our new area. As with most services in our newly adopted home, cat grooming costs twice as much in Maryland as it did in California. (I don't know why everyone thinks California is so expensive to live in!)

Anyway, This is our Zeus before his haircut. I'll post his 'after' pic next time.

He is a large cat, even without all that fur. He is my surrogate grandchild I think. He weighs over 20lbs. and is a very entertaining fellow.

His little half sister is also a Maine Coon, but she is much more delicate and she doesn't have to be groomed professionally, it is enough for us to just comb her. Her name is Hera.

They are adapting nicely to the new condo.

Vacation time in the Humidity

My week of vacation was spent in the lovely hills of WV with family. It proved to be a very humid week in WV, much to my dismay. I was thankful for family and thankful for the time off from work though.
I went with Dad one day to the hospital to have two units of blood transfused. That took a while. As I sat there with him, I realized how stressful it was for him. He didn't even watch any of his usual TV programs, largely westerns. I don't even think he was aware the TV was in the room that whole day. I spent the first part of that day with Mom, at home, before going over to the hospital. Mom seemed stressed also, but no wonder I guess, now that I think about it. Getting old is just plain no fun, but it does beat the alternative. I wish somehow I could make it easier for them both. Wasn't it Dylan Thomas that wrote "Do not go gently into that good night..."
They are giving it a good fight, I am proud of them.
H is holding up well with his burdens too. He had to clean out the home of his beloved aunt during our week of "vacation" this year. He worked very hard and has the home ready to sell now. We've had a few lookers already, so it seems the home will sell readily. H is dealing really well with his emotions regarding the death of this loved one, I don't think I'm handling it as well as he is. (I've got issues to sort through.)
Back at work this week, its humid like crazy and I feel like I'm actually melting here in Maryland. I'm thankful for the routine of work.
On a lighter note, I love my iPod mini! Great entertainment! I'm learning to download Podcasts this week and I'm downloading some different kinds of music as well. Its great.

July in the City

Commuting just sucks. Its Friday of a 4 day work week, so I should, by all logic, be happy today. But it is really pouring rain here, 3 inches in the last several hours. I left the condo today to walk to Metro and got my umbrella turned inside out, my half-way decent hair day gone in the gusting wind. And I'm wet. I walked back to the condo and got my Goretex jacket. That actually helped a lot, but it was a little warm. The humidity here really gets to me, more than I ever remembered. I'm having trouble with that. H says I should start driving to work. Hell, we just spent well over half a million dollars to buy a condo within an easy commute of my job and I gave my car to my S. The whole idea was to get by with just one car, easier on our budget and easier on the environment. But it ain't easy. There is nothing easy about this crap. The commute is difficult even if I drove, then I would have to face traffic and parking and related auto problems. I wish I could wake up back in California in my lovely house, but no, that's not going to happen. So, I will have to figure out survival tactics for here.

Security on the Metro has been stepped up a bit they say, although it appears much like normal to me today. We are so sorry about the things that happened in London yesterday, it certainly gives real world perspective the the whole "bitch about my poor commute" thing. I pray for peace and sanity.

Next week I am on vacation. I'll go with H to our old hometown. There we will work to clear out the remaining personal belongings of his much beloved Aunt. What a stressful thing this must be for him. I know he is hurting and no one can ease it. We'll visit with family and have some good moments I know. Getting older is not for the faint of heart. Dad is scheduled to have a consult with an oncologist on Tuesday. I figure I'll go with him and my sis. I'm holding my breath that this turns out to be nothing. He is 88.

My big Maine Coon cat was frightened out of his wits yesterday by a bird that flew onto the little balcony we have at the condo. Cat is prone to panic attacks, has to be "talked down." He weighs in at over 20lbs. If he didn't look so scared and pitiful, it would be funny.

Here it is June already. I barely noticed the passage of time. Its getting hot here in DC, the humidity is overwhelming at times. Today is a blessing, its a nice day. A little warm, but really nice.
I'm definitely at a low point emotionally. I think I need a friend, but I'm at a disadvantage here. I think it is the corporate culture here, although in Martinez I ate lunch alone quite a bit also. (But, at Martinez, I also had friends and coworkers that were eating lunch with me sometimes.) I eat lunch alone most of the time and speak with no one. I feel depressed and tired all the time. I feel hunched over, shoulders drawn together in the front, defensive posture. At work I feel incompetent and underutilized. My skills don't seem to be a match for the type if work they have in mind. It won't be an easy way out, I can see that. I am still trying to figure out if I can fit in somehow. I know a couple people here who would gladly reassure me that I will never in a million years fit in here with the intellectual elite. I know I'm a competent woman, well educated and a good worker. How do make that work for me here? Well, I'm momentarialy stumped. Sometimes it overwhelms me.
I knew it was a new low point when the highlight of last week was when a stranger struck up a conversation with me about my iPod mini. I loved having someone talk to me!! This sucks. My friends from Sacramento are sending me cards and emails and that helps, but gheeze Louise, I should be able to find someone to just talk to here. What gives with this? Am in going insane? Have I lost it, finally?
I need to get enrolled in a water aerobics class, and I think I will do that this week. Today is Tuesday, maybe today. Exercise that won't hurt my foot will make me happier I know.
The condo is suffocating, but I really like the balcony. It seems to be my private space as H seldom steps out there. He mostly ignores me. He is emotionally removed. I don't even blame him for that, but I do blame him for the move here. It is so lonely here.
Well, I have to go, yet another dreadfully boring meeting awaits me -- where the negative work people wait to suck any lifeblood out of me. I'll pretend to be a drone and hope they pass over me today. More later,
gotta go for now.

Wednesday

Its been an interesting week. I was startled during my 5AM shower by the sound of a loud crash and breaking glass. My cat had managed to knock over a large mirror we had in the foyer. We were waiting to hang the mirror over the library table, but hadn't had the time or tools. Just another day in paradise!

Into the New Year and life transitions

It has been a while since I posted, and much has happened. We've managed to drive across the country in our Pacifica with the two Maine Coon Cats. We survived, the cats survived. We arrived to a snowstorm in Bethesda in late January. Quite a difference from our home in Citrus Heights. The temporary "transitional" apartment arranged ahead of time was fine. We enscounced ourselves and the cats there while we undertook househunting. Our son arrived from California as expected, only to be offered a great job back in California. After a few weeks, he moved to California and the job. We still have his stuff in our moving boxes with much of our own stuff. You can see we have a great deal of sorting to do.
The house hunting was abismal. The Real Estate Agent was not very interested in helping us find a new home. I guess pre-approved for just over half a million dollars gets no respect here. H & I did the best we could for ourselves then, we went to look at open houses and read newspaper ads... We felt a bit desperate, as our apartment was being paid for by corporate move and that would run out in about 60 or 90 days. Our thought was that we could have a new home by then and not have to start paying for the apt. ourselves - or to move twice --so that added pressure to find something suitable but very quickly for move in. We decided location was prime importance. Next was low maintenance....all of that spelled condo and new condo, so that's what we bought.
From the lovely sprawling suburban home in Citrus Heights to the 2 bedroom/2 bath condo in urban Bethesda. Lots of things to do in order to make the adjustment. Lose furniture. Lose more furniture. Lose clothes. Lose dishes. Lose kitchen stuff... my list goes on.